Jaded Eyes
by Yelloz
Summary: 5-year-old Harry Potter has been rescued from the brutality of his muggle relatives and is now thrust into the magic world he never knew. With the help of a certain Potions Master, will he learn to look past his own jaded eyes? Abusive!Dursley, AU/non-canon, Dumbledore!Bashing, Dursley!Bashing, Father!Snape, Kid!Fic
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I am a brunette, broke and not British.

Warning: Abusive!Dursley, AU/non-canon, Dumbledore!Bashing, Dursley!Bashing, Father!Snape, Kid!Fic

A/N: My first story, I am very excited and nervous. This story features a Snape/Harry pairing, father and son respectively. While this story's pairing is similar to several stories already written – by authors such as jharad17, Lily Elizabeth Snape, Gillian Middleton (Go check their stories out and leave them a nice comment! They are amazing!) – this storyline will be original, plot and otherwise. However, I feel I must warn you; this story will contain what could be perceived as graphic scenes of child abuse so….no flames okay? I am giving you a fair warning now. Alright, I am done blathering. Please read and enjoy! All comments will be enjoyed and personally responded to. Thanks :)

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Prologue

_The accident was not my fault._

"_Oh, belt up, boy!"_

_It was not my fault. That's what I wanted to yell at him. And I would have if there weren't a hammy fist stopping me._

"_How many times must you be told? Is it that bloody difficult to scrub a few pots and pans?" Uncle Vernon shouted, his fat fingers digging into my cheeks. He shook me, knocking my head against the door to my cupboard._

_THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!_

_By the fourth hit, I could feel the wood groaning against my head and Uncle's purple face began to blur. My lungs burned and my throat tightened. I tried to claw his hands off of me. It did not do any good, it just made him madder._

"_I'll teach you your place! Ruin me, my house, my family! Good for nothing freak, I'll teach you to be duff!" He hissed, his grip tightening._

_It was not my fault. It was not my fault. It was not my fault._

**-HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS-**

_The pictures were moving. _

_I was moving. _

_I was in something, something warm and soft. _

_A few more jostles and it suddenly hit me. I was being carried. Carried where? And who was carrying me? Uncle Vernon dragged me by my collar sometimes, but it was usually to throw me outside. Aunt Petunia once boxed my ears and put me back in my cupboard, when she thought I stole her brooch even though it was Dudley. But I could not remember ever being held like this._

'Cept in my dreams.

_It suddenly made sense. I was dreaming. I looked up to see who I was dreaming about now. Maybe it was the lady with hair the color of cherries, or it could have been the man with glasses, like the ones I had before Piers took them. Maybe they had come to rescue me, just for tonight. But when I looked up, it was somebody I had never dreamed about before._

_It was Mrs. Figg! The rot of cabbage and the stench of cats were unmistakable. I could even make out her hairnet and her flyaway grizzled hair and hear her tartan house-shoes flipping and flopping. The bouncing got faster and soon I could not see the pictures anymore. Everything was spinning around me fast. Too fast._

"_Don't worry, child. It's over now. It's all over."_

_A color and sound I had never faced before was suddenly before us, a roar then crackled green-like flames shot closer. Another jostle and the flames were climbing higher and higher. Before I knew it, I was no longer being held. Everything was gone. I was gone. I was falling and spiraling and dropping, tumbling out into absolutely nothing._

_Perhaps it really was all over__..._


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I am a brunette, broke and not British.

Warning: Abusive!Dursley, AU/non-canon, Dumbledore!Bashing, Dursley!Bashing, Father!Snape, Kid!Fic

A/N: The first chapter, I'm still nervous but even more excited now! Thank you to everyone who followed/favorited. You guys are amazing! Please read and enjoy…and **comment** :)

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Chapter 1

My head hammered. It felt like Uncle Vernon was still pounding on it. I tried touching my forehead, but soft wrappings covered both my hand and my head.

_Where was I?_

A glance around and nothing looked familiar. Everything was white, horribly white. White sheets. White bed. White table. White curtains. I did not know any of it. I did not know where I was! Suddenly, I could not breathe right. I tried to scream. Nothing came out.

Pain.

Pain was suddenly _everywhere_. Back, legs, tummy, arms, chest and throat especially.

_Thirsty_, I realized. My throat felt scratchy and dry. I tried to swallow away the scratchiness, but it just made the ache worse.

_You cannot stay here._

I had to move. I sat up – or tried to. My head pounds quickened, knocking the breath out of me. Sucking in a breath through my nose, I laid still a moment trying to catch my breath.

_Use your head, stupid!_

Mrs. Figg. I suddenly remembered. That was not a dream, it had really happened! Uncle Vernon had started hitting me and she came and took me away! Where was she? I tried looking around, but my head throbbed when I tried to move it. Closing my eyes, I listened for her. Sometimes, in my cupboard if I closed my eyes and listened really hard, I could hear the telly if Dudley turned it up loud enough. Maybe I could hear Mrs. Figg if I was really quiet. But when I listened I did not hear anything. Everything was silent, no noises at all.

_I have to find her, have to find Mrs. Figg. Now._

I tried wiggling my fingers, the ones that were not in wrapping. Soft sheets were beneath my fingertips. Reaching out and ignored the twinge in my shoulder, I finally found something cool and metal. _Bed frame_, I knew that's what it was. Gripping it as tightly I could, I sucked in another breath and pulled the bar as hard as I could.

FWHUMP!

I landed on my knees. Hard. _At least I had moved_, I told myself rubbing away stupid tears that stung my eyes. Now all I had to do was find a way out of this place. This horrible, white, silent place.

Maybe then I could find Mrs. Figg.

**-HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS-**

I had not seen the old man since…

_I cannot even remember_, I realized, running a tired hand through my already disheveled hair. Not since my school years, perhaps my days as his on-call spy. _Little more than a house elf_, I thought bitterly.

"What on earth could he want now?" I mused, the only response coming from the crackling fire. Sinking back into the couch, I stared at the letter on the coffee table. Part of me wished to leave it there and ignore it until the morning. Another part wanted to just pitch it in the fire and pretend I had never received such a cold-handed missive from my old mentor.

_Ex-mentor_, I reminded myself.

I had every right to leave the letter right where it was and not give it another thought. I owed the meddling old codger nothing. Besides, I was no longer Albus' concern, no longer his student or spy or adherent. I had my own life now, my own business, which did not concern him whatsoever. As well, the apothecary had been unbelievably busy today with the new arrival of stock. Most of the day had been spent restocking the shelves and barrels, keeping the inventory in order, filling owl orders, not to mention the bother of in-store customers. I had worked hard today and had every right to dismiss the letter.

I would have too, if it were not for the 'urgent' scrawled over the back of the envelope in heavy ink.

"Four years and not a bloody word, and now, all of a sudden, you send a letter and I am just supposed to apparate wherever you point your wand?" I barked at the letter, as if it really were capable of listening and answering.

"Merlin!" Grabbing the letter, I stormed to the kitchen. Tossing the blasted letter onto the table, my next stop was the liquor cupboard. If I was going to pay Albus any consideration, it would not be on a sober mentality.

"Campbell, Schletters, Blishen," I murmured, thumbing each bottle as I passed, "Dragon Barrel. Brandy, that'll do." Unstopping the bottle, I filled a generous nip into a glass. The first sip went straight to my head. Another swallow and it settled into a mild buzz. Growling, I snatched the envelope and made quick work of the letter.

In Albus' distinctive, fanciful scrawl, the letter read:

_Severus,_

_I require your immediate presence. Your assistance in a matter, to which I hope to attend to discreetly, is essential. The matter is time sensitive and __**must**__ be seen to without delay. Come along to my office as soon as you read this._

_I should consider this in your great interest and a great favor._

_Albus Dumbledore_

_P.S. I most recently have found myself enjoying Cauldron Cakes._

"Blast," I sighed, crumpling the letter. Downing the drink, I left the kitchen and returned to the fireplace. Floo powder in hand, I suddenly wished I had given into my earlier impulse and destroyed the letter on sight.

**-SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP-**

"Cauldron Cakes," I snarled at the statue. Albus' inept clues and eccentric habits were beyond trivial. The moment the stairs appeared a wave of shouts and yells erupted from below. As I moved nearer, the voices grew louder and more intense.

_The voices were all female_, I realized as I descended the final step.

"Come in, my boy," Albus shouted, before my hand even touched the door handle. Clearing my mind and taking a breath, I steeled myself for whatever waited behind the closed doors. However, the sight before me was not what I had prepared myself for.

Albus sat at his desk with a hoard of women surround him, hands on their hips. _A universal sign of trouble_, I snorted to myself.

_What in Merlin's name was this alleged 'emergency'?_

"Severus, just in time." His smile was strained and I raised a brow at his company.

In a quick assessment, I recognized two of the three ladies in the office. Madam Pomfrey, I knew from my years as a Hogwarts student, and she tended to use me as her apothecary of choice when she brewed potions for the infirmary. Isabella Figg – or something of that sort – I had not seen in years, only recognizing her from the Order meetings. She was an old acquaintance of Albus, if memories served correct. The third woman I did not recognize at all.

"Albus," I greeted, turning my attention back to him as he stood from his chair.

"Severus. Madam Amelia Bones. Amelia. Severus Snape." He introduced the stranger, his usually twinkling eyes solemn. Perhaps he had finally gotten rid of that blasted charm he insisted on placing over his spectacles.

"Madam Bones," I droned, in no mood to keep up with meaningless, polite prattle.

"You already know Poppy," he addressed and continued, "Arabella Figg, allow me to introduce Severus Snape. I do not believe you two have formally met. Severus-"

"ENOUGH!" The elder woman suddenly shouted, startling the entire room, "This is unacceptable, Albus! I do as you say, and I send report after report and _NOTHING_! This has to be taken care of immediately. _Today_. Why, just yesterday-"

Shrill voices spewed once again, and I abruptly recognized the chaos I had listened to earlier.

"_Silencio_," Albus bellowed, with a sweep of his hand. Straightening his robes, he indicated everyone to sit down with a sudden appearing of chairs around his desk.

"Now," he spoke calmly, once everyone had seated themselves, "It seems we have a situation on our hands. A situation, that needs to be handled with discretion and delicacy." The women continued to frown, but did not protest.

"Severus, it seems this matter involves you as Lily named you as her executor in her will."

"Lily?" I gasped, taken aback "What does this have to do with her?"

"Her child! Her very own flesh and blood, that's what this is about!" Poppy screeched, "Never seen anything of the sort, not this extreme."

"It's that that _family _of his, if you can even call them that," the Figg woman joined in, nodding in agreement with Poppy. Suddenly glad I was already sitting, I felt the floor disappear below my feet. The glass of brandy no longer felt like such an inspired choice.

_Lily's child? That's what this was about?_

"It _seems_ Harry can no longer remain with his relatives," Albus interrupted, "at present."

"-And as you are legally responsible for the late Mrs. Potter's legal affairs, and since there are no up-to-date guardians designated," Madam Bones cut in, folding her hands in her lap, "what happens to the child is entirely up to you."

_I take it back_, I thought to myself,_ I should have finished off the bottle._

"I understand your reluctance to become involved, Severus, but really-" Albus' words fell on deaf ears, and suddenly I was being taken back to the past…

**-SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP-**

"_Doesn't your Dad like magic?"_

_I watched Lily as she ever so carefully wrapped my hand. She always insisted on taking care of me after I got into any 'accidents'. She had even gotten into the habit of keeping antibiotic cream and strips of muslin in her pockets. Whether it was a smashed hand or a skinned knee, she just patched me up and told me she would see me tomorrow at our Secret Place._

"_He doesn't like anything, much," I admitted, after she continued to look at me expectantly._

"_Well, I like you, Sev. Very, very much." She smiled and patted my now bandaged hand._

**-SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP-**

"_I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP, YOU FILTHY MUDBLOOD!"_

_The moment the words left my mouth, I wished I could have pulled them back in. Lily just stood there. She stopped running towards me, her hands limp at her side. Her beautiful green eyes widened in shock, at the hurt I had delivered purely out of spite. I might as well have slapped her across the face, the way she was looking at me._

_Hurt._

_Anger._

_Hate._

"_Snivellus! Snivelly! Snivellus! Snivelly! Snivellus! Snivelly!" the crowd's chanting grew louder and louder. It was so loud, nobody heard Lily crying. Nobody watched her turn her around and run away. Nobody saw her sobbing into the sleeves of the sweater that had once been mine. Nobody noticed her emerald eyes tainted by tears._

_Nobody but me._

**-SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP-**

_I stumbled through the door. The ground and walls had fallen away from me and there was nothing but her._

_Lily._

_My Lily._

_Dead._

_She lay on the floor, the room distraught around her. A sudden boom and everything went dark. Flashes of lightening from the windows were the only source of light. And she lay there lifeless, in the rubble among the ruins._

_My Lily was dead._

_I grasped at the door frame, my bones seemed to disappear unable to provide any support. I could not breathe. I could not speak. I could not even move. Yet, she laid there. Crimson hair swept wildly against porcelain skin, evergreen eyes that had once been so vivacious now remained open and cold. Even her hands that had so often comforted me were now still and smeared with blood. I could not stand it. Not another moment, not even a second more. I crawled over to her, the space between us suffocating. I gathered her close, unable to leave her alone. She did not deserve to die alone._

"_Lily", I sobbed brokenly and held her closer, "Lily, Lily, Lily."_

_She had not deserved to die alone._

**-SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP-**

"-so as you see, we think it is for the best that you be involved in deciding where the child goes. After all, you were Lily's original executor. I believe-" I cut of Albus' nattering with a wave of my hand. I would _not_ make the same mistake twice. Her child would not be alone. Lily's child would not be alone.

_My Lily._

"I will take the child."

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A/N: Comments? Any comments? Pretty, pretty please?


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I am a brunette, broke and not British.

Warning: Abusive!Dursley, AU/non-canon, Dumbledore!Bashing, Dursley!Bashing, Father!Snape, Kid!Fic

A/N: Finals. Week. Over. _**HALLELUJAH!**_ Sorry for the late update. Hope you enjoy Chapter 2 (Severus and Harry finally meet!). Please leave me a comment. I need the encouragement, guys!

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Chapter 2

The room erupted.

Albus stood, seemingly alarmed at my direction. The women's stream of blather burst like an overflowing dam. They all began talking at once, each trying to speak over the other. Just as Albus looked ready to cast another _Silencio_, the fireplace blazed and a young woman appeared. White as a sheet, she began incessantly stammering. However, Poppy appeared to recognize the girl and stepped in.

_A student_, I noted before glancing at the insignia on her robes, _A Hufflepuff_.

"Bridgette, calm down, and tell me what you are doing here!" her stern voice demanded as she sat the student down.

"H-he ran away," she gasped, "I went to your office j-just for a moment and when I g-got back he wasn't in bed. I looked everywhere a-and he wasn't in the infirmary. And then I-I think he passed out or something, but I don't know. I'm so sorry!" She quivered, dropping her face into her hands. It took only a moment, before the weight of her words was felt. Poppy was the first to react, her matronly ways taking over.

"Where is he?"

"I thought m-maybe he had wandered outside and I when I opened the door h-he was just laying there. A-and s-some other sixth years showed up, then I-I-I-"

Enough had been heard. Poppy dashed to the fireplace, with Madam Bones and I in her wake. Albus and the Figg woman stayed with the girl, evidently trying to calm her.

"Hospital Wing," I enunciated, following the women. Falling into step, I trailed after Poppy who was already racing out of the infirmary. A gaggle of students encircled in front of the doors, their tell-tale robes and prattle giving them away.

"He was unconscious when we found him, Madame Pomfrey," an older boy said, stepping back. The others followed suit, and what they had encircled was exposed.

In more ways than one.

"This is _not_ Lily's child," I gasped.

It was barely a child. The creature looked more like a carcass than a boy. Swallowed in an infirmary gown, there was barely anything left of him. Every bone seemed to jut out. Every inch of skin was burnt or bruised. Every limb appeared no thicker than a broom handle. Remains of bandages limply hung to his arm and face, as if they had been yanked at, unmistakably swollen from being fractured or broken.

The longer I stared, the worse the child appeared to be.

"Severus, we need to move him," Poppy snapped, her wand never stopped waving and flourishing over the boy. The bandages re-wrapped themselves and another set swathed his head once more.

"Severus, levitate him to my office, and mind his head. The rest of you, go back to your common rooms," she ordered, "_Now_, Severus!"

Her office, adjacent to the hospital wing, could not have been more than four meters away, but every step with the child under my wand seemed like a league. Two cots were tucked at the back of her office, behind a row of shelves. Being careful as ordered, I slowly released the levitation spell, placing the boy on the nearest bed. Only a moment passed and the pillow, cotton white, was suddenly stained red.

"Poppy!" I shouted, noticing the bandage on his head was soaking with blood.

She bustled in, wand still drawn with the ministry woman now in tow. I had not noticed her absence, but Madam Bones appeared behind the nurse with an armful of jars and bottles. Blood_-Replenishing Potion_, my mind uselessly supplied, _Brain Elixer, Draught of Peace, Essence of Dittany, Swelling Solution, Calming Draught_. One by one, the women exchanged bottles, their conversation lost on me. I could see their mouths moving but could not understand a word they spoke. And they child only seemed to get worse. His bandages did not seem to serve any purpose. The boy's blood spilled like an uncapped inkbottle onto parchment.

_So much blood._

"_Tergeo_." The blood slowly siphoned away from his wound and the pillow. Said wound was a deep gash at the base of his skull. As if he had fallen onto something. Just as the last drop left the oozing open cut, Poppy pulled a small bottle from the collection Madam Bones had placed on the nearby table. With dropper in hand Poppy expertly drizzled salve across the damaged skin, the telltale scent of Dittany filling the air.

"_Anapneo_." Poppy propped the boy's head up, grabbing a bottle with maroon-colored fluid. The cork pulled, she aligned the mouth of the potion bottle to the boy's. Tilting his head back, she helped him swallow the no doubt sour Blood-Replenishing potion. She followed it with a vial of turquoise-blue syrup.

"Draught of Peace?" I asked finally finding voice. Knowing the potency the potion possessed, it did not seem appropriate. He was a child after all, practically an infant by the looks of him.

"He will be scared when he wakes up, Severus," she sighed, checking his vitals with a wave of her wand, "Besides, he's already had several doses of a half a dozen other potions. A little bout of Peace will not hurt him."

"He's a child, Poppy!"

"Yes, who has undergone _very_ serious injuries, internally and externally," she snapped, removing the boy's head from her lap and returned it to the pillow.

"You don't mean-" My thoughts immediately took a turn to the worse, coupled with the remembrance of the women's earlier squabble.

_Her very own flesh and blood, never seen anything of the sort, not this extreme._

_It's that family of his, if you can even call them that._

_It seems Harry can no longer remain with his relatives._

"No," she coughed uneasily, turning away to grab a blanket from the other bed, "It seems his relative's cruelty consisted _only _of neglect and physical abuse."

"Relatives?"

"His relatives," Madame Bones cut in, abruptly appearing yet again, "who were _not_ his designated caregivers, consisted of his Mother's sister, her husband and their own child. An investigation is already underway."

"Petunia?" It had been years since I had thought of Lily's sister. I remember she had never liked how Lily had been a part of the magic world, a world _she_ was not allowed into. I especially recalled her deep disdain for me, since she felt I had played a part in her own sister's resolve to exclude her.

_How in Merlin's name had Lily's child ended up with that woman?_

Just as I was ready to ask, shouts exploded from the infirmary. Bellows for 'Madam Pomfrey' ruined the well-merited silence as a throng of students flurried in. The exact same moment a bright silver form in the shape of a phoenix appeared and flew to Madam Bones, swooping around her.

_Merlin, would it kill Albus to act like a normal wizard and simply use the Floo Network instead of sending his damn Patronus?_

"Ah, excuse me, the Headmaster," Madam Bones pardoned herself, walking back towards the fireplace.

"Oh. Severus, please sit with the boy. I will be back shortly," Poppy huffed as she followed the ministry official and trotted out, going to tend to the students. Before I could object, the mediwitch was out the door mumbling about the senselessness of Quidditch.

Suddenly alone with the child, insecurity and worry swarmed. Coupled with feeling the aftereffects of such an ordeal, I reached for the unused Calming Draught. Poppy had seemed to have things under control with the child, defusing a seemingly fatal situation. What on earth did I know about children? Let alone, the most infamous child in wizarding history? To top that, a child who had suffered extreme abuse at the hands of his own bloody relatives? What would he think of a complete stranger claiming to be his guardian? Could he even understand any of it? Sighing, I dropped my head into my hands. I glanced at the boy.

_I have to stop calling him that._

Harry. His name was Harry. Lily's son was Harry. He was Harry. For the first time, I looked at Harry. _Really_ looked at him, not as a child but as _my_ child to raise if I chose to take him. Could I even raise him? Could I provide for him everything he needed? Could I possibly repair the damage he had suffered? Could I even help him by any means?

_How could one so small survive such loathsomeness?_

Hand-shaped bruises stained sunburned skin along his face and neck. Similar bruises trailed out of sight obscured by the robe. His collarbone protruded so far, I was sure his ribs were just as bad. Strokes of scars and cuts, all in various stages of healing, discolored stick-thin arms. It did not seem the child had ever had a decent meal, he was so small. I suddenly noticed the empty jars and bottles on Poppy's desk - Calming Draught, Bitterroot Balm, Mutrlap Essence, Fungus Budge-

_He's already had several doses of a half a dozen other potions._

I turned away, unable to comprehend why so many potions had to be used. Not just used, but depleted.

"Oh child, what I am going to do with you?" I whispered.

Harry suddenly stirred, his too-thin face pinched in pain. A small hand shot forward, seizing the sleeve of my robe. Fingers appeared as sturdy as quill barrels and just as slight. Still, Harry's grip was strong. His knuckles turned white as they held on, so stark in contrast against my black robes.

"M'feh…M'fig…Mus'fig" he mumbled, furrows creasing his small forehead.

Looking out the door, I saw Poppy was still busy with her students. I awkwardly moved closer, in hopes of comforting him as it seemed the job had fallen to me. I placed my free hand upon his forearm, but he just cried out. Quickly removing my hand, I resorted to what I hoped would be words of reassurance. Nevertheless, his grip on my robe sleeve remained.

"Ah. It is alright, Harry. You are safe now," I tried not to let my voice shake, completely thrown off, "You are at a school. You are safe now." It did not seem to do any good. Somehow, his grip tightened, bunching up the heavy fabric of my robes. His mouth opened in a silent cry. His eyes screwed shut as his tiny chest began heaving.

"Mrs. Figg," Harry called out, thrashing against the blanket Poppy had placed over him earlier. Worried he would injure himself further, I replaced my free arm over his small shoulders. He flinched at the contact, practically recoiling into the mattress. But he stilled.

"Harry?" I tried again to calm him, at the very least offer him some form of comfort.

"Mrs. Figg?" he panted, obviously still panicked.

"No, Mrs. Figg is not here right now," I explained, quickly amending, "She is upstairs right now. I am sure she will come see you soon." His eyes shot open.

_Lily's eyes._

Cut to the quick, I could only stare. It had been years since such eyes were laid on me. Large emerald eyes framed by long dark lashes blinked up at me, confusion clouding them. I quickly took back my arm from his shoulders.

"My name is Severus."

**-SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP-**

"Mrs. Figg," I repeated, trying to make the man understand.

_Have to find her._

"_Mrs. Figg_," I pulled his sleeve so he would come closer. Maybe he could not hear me right.

"She will be down here soon," he said, staring at me. He stared in a way Aunt Petunia _definitely _would have called 'rude'.

"You know, you have your mother's eyes," he suddenly said, still staring. I did not know why he was whispering, but I whispered back anyway.

"Yessur, Mrs. Figg?" He was _still_ not listening, and he was _still_ staring rudely. He stopped talking though.

"Sir?"

I was too far away to see his face. Maybe I said something wrong.

He suddenly bent forward, centimeters from my face. I could see him now. He was older but not like Mrs. Figg, more like Headmistress Roemmele. He had long hair that looked a lot like mine, dark and grimy. His face was not mean, even though he had a hook-like nose and he was frowning. He seemed very thoughtful, like he was studying something.

I looked away, feeling new aches and pain as I moved. Everything suddenly hurt again and felt worse than before.

"It's alright. You're safe here, Harry. Just lay back," he touched my head so softly, leaning me back. Before I could ask how he knew my name or why I had been allowed a pillow or why he was being so nice to me, everything was gone again.

**-HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS-**

Harry quickly fell back asleep, no doubt exhausted. Despite the Draught he still seemed distressed, worry lines creasing his forehead as he tossed and turned. Still he was tired enough that he did not even hear the fireplace roar to life yet again. Nor did he hear Albus or Madame Bones enter the infirmary office. Earlier, Poppy had offered to sit with him, but I had decided to stay. Harry had not released my sleeve, and it somehow seemed callous to remove it.

"It has been discussed, and for now the child will stay with you," Madam Bones announced, passing a glance at Albus, "For the time being, the ministry will grant you temporary custody until a more permanent arrangement can be made."

"If you are agreeable," Albus added, returning the ministry's official look.

I looked back down at the child. _Harry_. His small hand bunched in my robe. He seemed so breakable and yet so strong at the same time. Slowly, I eased his fingers open and placed them beneath the covers.

"Harry will stay with me."

* * *

A/N: Yay, Severus and Harry finally met! Leave me a comment, please's and thank you's :)


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I am a brunette, broke and not British.

Warning: Abusive!Dursley, AU/non-canon, Dumbledore!Bashing, Dursley!Bashing, Father!Snape, Kid!Fic

A/N: The third chapter! Wow, I hope we aren't moving too fast? Just joking. Special thanks to Araytigre who has been very generous by taking the time to let me know what he thinks of my story (readers, take a lesson from him and leave me comments). Please read on and enjoy…and **comment**!

* * *

Chapter 3

I dreaded the sound of his degrading voice.

'A word, Severus' had turned into Albus waylaying me the moment the ministry woman left. She had promised to have the guardianship papers in order by the end of the week. Of course, Albus just considered this as time for him to reverse my decision.

"Are you absolutely sure about this, Severus?" Albus asked, his voice dripping with hypocritical concern, "I do not recall you ever being very fond of children."

"Your faith in me is inspiring," I droned, clearing all thoughts and emotions. Albus was just as competent a Legilimens and Occlumens as I, and after years of manipulation I no longer doubted his willingness to exploit me.

Or anyone else for that matter, if he believed it to be necessary.

"Oh, my dear boy, you know I have the utmost respect for you. However, I do believe there are better options available for the boy," He reasoned, folding his hands in front of him. The picture of perfection, as always.

"Can you even say his name, Albus? It's Harry. _'The boy'_ – his name is Harry." His ability to justify his own actions was sickening. An innocent child had been practically tortured, ostensibly for years. And Albus did not seem to care a whit.

"I am _only_ looking out for your best interests, and _Harry's_, of course. Now-" I cut him off before he could utter another word.

Another reason.

Another excuse.

"Harry _will _stay with me."

Albus stared me straight in the eye, whether he was testing my Occlumency skills or posing a challenge I did not care or know.

"My, how you have changed, Severus."

"My, how you have not," I threw back, spinning on my heel.

—**SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—**

"Have a nice chat with Albus?" Poppy asked knowingly, sitting behind her desk. I glanced behind her, Harry still fast asleep.

"He is fine for now, just resting." She smiled sympathetically, raising her head, "How bad was it?"

I did not answer her. Poppy meant well, but she was still in Albus' pocket.

"Will he be alright?" I changed the subject. At the moment I cared much more about Harry, than I did Albus.

"Physically, yes," she sighed, turning to glance at the boy, "His bones have mended well, and his head should be alright by morning. He will need another dose of Blood Replenisher when he wakes up. Besides that, he still has a few remaining cuts and bruises. Some Bitterroot Balm should take care of those, though."

"When will he be fit to travel?"

"Oh, Severus, parenthood is not something to jump into," She exasperated, apparently feeling the need to remind me of my 'incompetency' as well.

"I have not made this decision _lightly_, Poppy!" I seethed, "And for the record, I am not jumping into anything. If in any degree, I have been pushed."

"Have you seriously considered what it would mean to raise this child, Severus?" She demanded, standing toe to toe with me.

"I will not change my mind, Poppy." Straightening my shoulders I towered over her. I was a good head taller than her, and I did not appreciate her intimidation tactic.

_Two can play at that game._

"Don't get shirty with me!" She scolded, hands flying to her hips, as if she was talking to an indignant student, "That is not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean? I should not raise Harry?" I hissed.

"Have you thought this through, Severus? _Really_ thought all of this thorough? Forget Albus and me and Lily and everyone else you are thinking of. Think only of Harry!" Her voice was no longer angry but earnest.

She stopped me before I could say a word. Instead, she sat back down and guided me to sit, too.

"No, I want you to really consider _everything_. Could you handle the commitment of being a parent? Have you thought about raising this child, _this child_ who is not biologically yours? Do you have the patience to go through a full-fledged, Ministry-officiated, possibly months-long adoption? And what if that child does not bond with you? Are you willing to go through all of that?" Poppy exclaimed, having worked herself up into frenzy.

"Poppy," I stopped her this time, "I will do right by Harry."

She stared at me and then glanced at the boy who was fitfully sleeping, as if sizing us up. Before she could utter another word, the Floo blazed to life yet again. Figg, the woman Harry had called for earlier in panic, appeared.

"Would it be alright if I saw him before I left?" she asked, her inappropriate slippers clacking dreadfully against the stone floor.

"He is right in there. He should be awake soon." Poppy pointed to the cot. The women nodded her thanks, before hobbling to the child's side. We stepped out of the office to finish our conversation.

"I believe you, Severus," the mediwitch said, once out of earshot of the other woman. I nodded my appreciation, such as it was.

"Here, you will need this." She grabbed my hand, and placed a folded piece of parchment in it.

"What is it?" I asked hesitantly, not certain I really wanted to know.

—**SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—**

Something smelled rotten. I tried opening my eyes, surprised when they did open. My head did not hurt either. My arm was not in that funny wrapping neither. I felt a little stiff, but nothing hurt anymore.

"Hello, Harry," somebody said. It was a lady's voice. It only took me a moment, before I smelled and knew.

_She was back!_

"Mrs. Figg!" She was sitting where that strange man had been before. "You're back!"

"Hello, dear," she said again, patting my hand. She was looking funny at me. Kind of like Aunt Petunia when she talked about her flower garden or when Dudley showed her his pictures, even though he _never_ colored in the lines.

"You took me away, I 'member," I whispered, knowing I should not be too loud.

"Yes, Harry, that is what I wanted to talk to you about," she swallowed loudly, before pulling an old hanky from her sleeve, "You see, you are no longer going to live with your relatives." At her words, my stomach dropped. It suddenly felt like I was being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste.

_I bet Uncle Vernon is mad 'cause Mrs. Figg took me away!_

"B-but, I don't have n-n-nowhere else to live." I knew I was stuttering, but I could hardly help it. What if I had to live on the street? Uncle Vernon used to tell me how lucky I was somebody as nice as them took me in and kept me.

_Who would want someone as useless and stupid as you in their home? No one that's who, should have thrown your duff out the day you came here! Just be glad your Aunt has a soft spot for family!_

"No, No, Harry," she quickly began, holding my hands, "You have somewhere else to live. Severus Snape is going to look after you."

"B-b-but when am I going back?" I did not understand. I always lived with the Dursley's. _Always_. Why would someone else keep me?

"Harry, you are not going back. You are going to live with this Severus-"

"Excuse me." Another woman was suddenly knocking on the door and she came in, too. She sat down next to Mrs. Figg. "Hello Harry. My name is Madam Pomfrey. I helped you earlier."

"Hi," I whispered, knowing I was supposed to be polite.

"How are you feeling, love?" She smiled, trying to be nice. Too nice. Shrugging my shoulders, I looked back to Mrs. Figg. I wanted to talk to her, _just_ her.

"I told Harry he will not be going back to his relatives, and from now on he will be living with Mr. Snape." Mrs. Figg talked to the lady, pretending I was not there. As if I could not hear them. The Madam Lady looked kind of upset at Mrs. Figg, but then she looked at me again.

"Yes, that is right," she did not look mad anymore, so I tried to listen, "He was in here earlier, I believe. His name is Severus. Do you remember him?" She was talking about that rude man who stared at me!

_But then he was nice and I had a pillow._

"Do you know who I am talking about?" She asked me again. This time I nodded. I remembered him.

"He is going to be your new guardian. He is going to take care of you from now on."

"Then where is he?"

—**HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS—**

My cheeks must have been burning redder than a fresh patch of nasturtium in fall.

"I can _not_ believe Poppy talked me into this," I muttered to myself, any shred of dignity I had left was gone. Completely out of place, I stood in the middle of the children section of Gladrags Wizardwear.

_I feel like an imbecile._

"Can I help you, sir?" a young woman approached, an idiotic grin plastered on her face and wearing an even more ridiculous pink apron.

_Apparently, I must look like one, too._

"No," I scowled, letting my humiliation fuel the rage in my tone, "I did not ask for your help, nor do I require it." She quickly skulked away, as she should have. My anger lessened only a fraction as I remembered why I was here.

_I've taken the liberty of outlining a few things Harry will need._

Recalling Poppy's so-called 'suggestion', I decided it was best to get this mess finished as soon as possible. Glancing at the list she had sent me out with, I decided to just start from one side of the store and work my way across. Grabbing a basket, no doubt with an Extension Charm, I scrutinized the store.

_Pharmacy first, then._

Rows of shelves covered the far side of the room. After scanning a few rows of assorted products, I stopped at the packaged sets. I settled for a toiletry package that included what I hoped were age-appropriate products. It came with a toothbrush with toothpaste, a comb and brush set, tear-free shampoo and conditioner, a container of mild body wash, and a bottle of Bizorren's Babbling Block Bubbles. Sighing at the absurdity, I added it to the basket before I changed my mind.

_Next, clothes._

I stuck to Poppy's list mostly, skipping over single items and favoring packaged bundles. Quickly as possible, I selected a dozen clothing-sets with sport shirts and trousers, another dozen set of nightclothes, a dressing gown with matching slippers, seven pairs of pants and socks, a few jumpers, a single pair of trainers, and a set of formal robes complete with dress shoes.

Just as I was ready to leave, I noticed an array of stuffed animals lined the back wall, varying from seemingly mundane to extremely dangerous. A variety of Owls, Kneazles, Rats, Puffskeins, Crups, Unicorns, Phoenixes, even Dragons all in different colors and sizes, danced and hopped and sang attracting nearby children and parents.

_More like hooligans._

Cries and whines of 'I want' and 'I need' plagued the air, little brats throwing fits and having tantrums. Scowling, I turned away.

_This was ridiculous._

I would not be blinkered over a child, of all things. My embarrassment seemed to grow tenfold. Turning to storm the nearest checkout, something abruptly caught my eye. A light yellow patchwork toy lay limply over a tub in the corner. Upon closer inspection, it seemed the charm had worn out and it had been thrown into the clearance bin. Before I changed my mind, I shoved it at the bottom of the basket. Head held high, I hurried to the checkout before I managed to humiliate myself further.

—**SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—**

"Have a nice time?" Poppy asked, the moment I stepped out of the fireplace.

"How were you not sorted into Slytherin?" I demanded. Met with chortles and shoulder shaking, she only smiled. Bag in hand, I was just about to leave the mediwitch tending to her students when I noticed the Figg woman was surprisingly still in the office with Harry.

"She is still here?" I asked, watching as the boy talked to the woman. He was obviously comfortable with her.

"She told him about you, the circumstances with his relatives."

"Presumptuous, don't you think?" I did not quite know how I felt on the subject, I realized as I watched them conversing. Was it really her place to explain things to my future charge?

"Well, she was the one to rescue him, Severus," Poppy reasonably admitted, "Besides, I was with them earlier, and you might be grateful she is taking the time to talk with him."

"What is_ that_ supposed to mean?"

Poppy unexpectedly pulled me aside, and began talking hushedly.

"That boy knew nothing of magic. I mean _nothing_. Those muggles did not tell him anything. It seems they did not stand for any talk of magic in their house. He did not even know what a wizard was!" I was shocked into silence. The Boy-Who-Lived, the savior of the wizarding world did not know of _magic_?

"Those monsters," Poppy murmured heatedly, trailing off, "If anyone ever deserved Azkaban-"

"So, she is still talking to him."

"I am sure you can go in and interrupt. I think she was just waiting until you returned, didn't want to leave him alone." Nodding, I returned to Poppy's office.

—**SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—**

"Ah, hello," Mrs. Figg stood, throwing me a tired smile, "Well, it must be time for me to leave. Cats won't feed themselves." The boy did not look happy about her leaving, but he did not say anything against it. I waited until they had both said their goodbyes before I walked in.

"Hello," I said, awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, "Do you remember me?"

"Sev'rus," he whispered, dropping the 'ver' sound in my name. I decided to let it go, I could correct him at a later time.

"Yes. Did Mrs. Figg come to see you?" I asked, both of us already knowing the answer. He nodded anyway, watching her leave with Poppy.

"Mrs. Figg says I am s'posed to live with you." I nodded back, trying to gauge his reaction. He only looked scared, looking up at me. Bright green eyes flashed behind a wild, uncut mane.

"What do you think of that?" I asked, sitting down in hopes of appearing less intimidating. But Harry only shrugged, inspecting the threads on the underside of the sheets.

Despite Figg's talk with the boy, I wanted him to hear things from me as well. I was his guardian, and it was only proper I established myself as such,

"Not only will you be living with me, but I will be your guardian," I tried to explain, "Do you know what that means?" This time he peeked a glance at me, and slowly shook his head side to side.

"Your relatives used to be your guardians." His eyes widened, and he stifled a gasp. I noticed his hands began to shake before he dug them into the sheets. No doubt terrified, it worried me more that the child felt compelled to hide his fear.

"They were very inappropriate guardians, very bad people who you should not have been placed with." I went on, trying to explain the circumstances. "What they did to you, was not right. Adults should _never _hurt children. They were _not_ suitable guardians, and so I will be your guardian from now on."

He nodded after a few moments, looking more nervous now than scared.

"As your guardian," I decided to take a page from Poppy's book, "I took the liberty of acquiring a few things for you." I pulled the carrier bag closer to the bed, so he could see.

"For me?"

"Yes," I nodded, trying not to stammer. My way with words had disappeared the moment he looked up at me. Every time I saw Lily's eyes, something inside me seemed to jar itself.

"What is that?" he asked, pointing into the bag. I pulled out the stuffed, patchwork animal I had bought on a ridiculous whim. Holding it out to him, I willed my tongue to untie itself.

"Ah-er- well, it's a doe." Ever so shyly he took the stuffed animal from my hand. He handled the toy as though it were a piece of crystal. Ever so delicately, he seemed to take in every detail, from the various colored patchwork pieces to the feel of the different fabrics to the button eyes.

"Thank you, sir," he whispered, his voice breathless. He acted as though I bestowed some great honor upon him instead of just giving him some silly toy.

"Yes-well-," I cleared my throat, "Anyway, Popp- Madame Pomfrey says you need to stay here tonight."

"Then what?" He surprised me by asking, continuing to look into the bag but never touching anything.

"Then tomorrow, we will go home." He looked at me with his evergreen eyes, Lily's eyes, as if absorbing everything I had said.

"Okay, Sev'rus."

—**HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS—**

After our talk Poppy interrupted and delivered a dinner tray for the boy. She made sure he took his last dose of Blood Replenisher and then gave him another dose of Draught of Peace.

Soon after, the boy fell asleep. Likely he would require more sleep than he had been getting, if the dark circles underneath his eyes were anything to go by. Poppy returned after checking in on her other wards and took a seat next to me.

"I will do right by him." For reasons unknown, I felt a need to reassure her.

"I know," She sighed, patting my hand. A moment of silence past. Everything was quite. The calm after the storm, as it were.

"Sometimes, I'm not sure I did right by you, Severus Snape," Poppy suddenly admitted, her voice hush.

"You did enough."

Harry flinched as I pulled his blanket up over his shoulders. His tossing and turnings had also dislodged his stuffed animal, and I quickly replaced it under arm. He slowly relaxed again, holding his oh-so precious toy to his chest.

Unbeknownst to me, Poppy began smiling to herself.

"Perhaps I did."

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A/N: Hahaha, Poppy made Severus go shopping at a kiddy store! Leave me a comment if you like the big-not-so-bad Severus ;)


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I am a brunette, broke and not British.

Warning: Abusive!Dursley, AU/non-canon, Dumbledore!Bashing, Dursley!Bashing, Father!Snape, Kid!Fic

A/N: Gah, summer classes have already started! Goodbye Summer-Break, oh how I have enjoyed our days together! Sorry for the belated update, readers, but you know how it is with school. The updates should be at least once a week, hopefully faster once I progress in my classes. Anyway, thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites. Please, enjoy the fourth chapter!

* * *

Chapter 4

Harry had a fever by morning. Poppy had assured me it was more than likely that the change in environment was responsible.

"Children have fevers all the time," Poppy bolstered, "It's practically their occupation."

"Perhaps he should stay here another day." Poppy handled this so well. Possibly, another move would just make matters worse.

"Nonsense! I'll give him a dose of Pepper Up, and he should be fine by this afternoon," she insisted, tucking anther blanket around the boy, "You might as well take advantage of this time, Severus."

"How do you mean?" I asked offhandedly, glancing between Harry and the Monitor Charm floating above him.

"You _are_ going to have to take him home eventually," Poppy was smiling now, seemingly amused at my shortsightedness, "And I believe you might need to adjust some things."

"Things?"

I had already gone shopping once and did not look forward to going back.

_Ever. Again._

"Off the top of my head, you might consider making your home a little more child-friendly. At the very least, he will need a bedroom."

"Of course," I agreed, suddenly glad one of us was thinking ahead. Setting up a room for the child would be simple enough. Living in Prince House, most of the rooms were actually being used for storage since I only made use of the first floor.

"And you will need to make arrangements with work, at least for a little while. Do you have someone to look after the apothecary for you?"

"I can close for the weekend." One of the many benefits of being my own boss, arranging my own work schedule was becoming more and more convenient._ And probably would continue to_, I thought glancing down at Harry.

"Also, I suggest you stock your kitchen beforehand," Poppy advised, re-checking the Monitor Charm she had placed over the boy, "And he will need to start taking nutrition potions. He's malnourished, as it is."

"I will stop at the Magic Neep, after I go by the apothecary." The greengrocers' was actually only a few stores down from my own. Though I usually owl-ordered from the store, it would be faster to go and pick up what I needed in person.

"Well, go on! I will watch him for the morning," she made quick work of shooing me out of her office, "Off with you."

_What a wonderful start to parenthood, being ordered about by Poppy._

—**SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—**

My throat was hurting again.

_Thirsty_, I realized. Glancing at the table with empty bottles all over it, I saw a drinking glass.

_An empty drinking glass, stupid._

"Ah, good afternoon, Harry." It was that interrupting lady from before, the one who Mrs. Figg was with. _She left_, I remembered, but she said these were nice people and they would take care of me.

"How are you feeling? Thirsty, I imagine?" Just as the lady said that, the cup on the table suddenly filled with water.

"You can do magic?" I gasped, hardly able to help it. The Madam Lady – I could not really remember her name – nodded, her face bunched up like somebody was pinching her.

"Yes, dear," she smiled, but it looked like she was being forcedto smile, "Didn't Mrs. Figg talk to you about that?"

She _had_ told me about it, but it did not make any sense. People could not _really _do magic. Actually, I had thought Mrs. Figg was telling me a story like she sometimes did when I stayed with her. I thought she was being nice, because she told me the Dursley's did not want to keep me no more and I had to live with Mr. Severus. But if magic was real –

"Does that mean you're a good witch?"

Madam Lady looked shocked, almost as if I had yelled at her.

_Stupid, you said something wrong_!

Bowing my head, I braced my shoulders for a hit or a smack. She would definitely be mad now. Uncle Vernon was right after all, I was not supposed to talk about magic. _Ever._

But she did not hit me or even yell.

"Ah, well, magic does not work exactly like that," Madam Lady was just talking softly, "You see, wizards and witches are just like normal humans-"

"Mrs. Figg said they are called muffles," I remembered. Even though Mrs. Figg had told me part of a story, I had still tried to listen to her. But the Madam Lady could do magic, real magic. I saw her!

"_Muggles_. Yes, dear," she was really smiling this time, "Muggles and wizards and witches can all do good and bad things. We can all make good and bad choices. Those of us who can do magic are not 'good witches' or 'bad witches', we can only make good choices or bad choices."

I thought about it. It kind of made sense. Sort of.

"What about Sev'rus? Is he a good witch?"

Madam Lady burst out laughing, and I ducked my head again. Cheeks burning, I realized I had something stupid. Again.

"Actually dear, he is a wizard. Ladies are witches and gentlemen are wizards," she was smiling again, so I did not feel quite as bad, "And it is the same with wizards as it is with witches. There are no 'good wizards' or 'bad wizards'. We can only make good choices or bad choices. Wizards and witches can only make the choice to use their magic for good or for bad."

"Oh," I whispered. She had not really answered my questions, but it was good of her to try and explain it.

"Here, dear," Madam Lady hushed, handing me the now filled water glass. I quickly took the glass from her hands, before she changed her mind. It felt cool to my fingers and the glass even looked clean. It tasted even better.

_Maybe Mrs. Figg was right, too._

These people _did_ seem nice. Maybe I would be okay.

—**HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS—**

Exhausted, I fell into the chair as my legs landed on the ottoman.

The apothecary now had a 'Closed Until Monday' sign on the front door, the pantry and icebox were practically overflowing, and a now clean bedroom was ready for Harry. Glancing at the clock, the hands read it had been nearly eight hours since I had left Harry with Poppy. My thoughts drifted back to her parting words.

_You _are_ going to have to take him home eventually._

"I am more worried about what happens after that," I sighed, talking only to the empty room.

_It will not be empty for long_, a small voice pointed out. Growling at such desperate, foolish thoughts, I stood and stalked back to the fireplace. Within moments, I found myself back in the Hogwarts infirmary. Whatever students that had been here before no longer were. I slowly made my way to Poppy's office. I quietly rapped on the door, gradually pushing it open.

"Ah, here he is. What excellent timing, Severus." Poppy smiled.

"Are you ready, Harry?"

He nodded slightly, perched on the edge of the cot with his stuffed animal cradled to his chest. Poppy helped him down, slightly adjusting the dressing gown as slippered feet landed. If the indention left behind on the mattress was anything to go by, it seemed Harry and Poppy had been talking for quite some time.

He quietly thanked Poppy, and then looked up at me. His polite manner surprised me, coupled with the insecurity brimming from his wavering form. Taken back, I quickly composed myself.

_Your abruptness is definitely helping the situation, you git._

Remembering how uncomfortable he seemed having to look up at me before, I slowly kneeled down.

"We will need to Floo to get to my house," I explained softly. Again he nodded, his face a blank stare. But he had stopped shaking.

"She told me about it," he whispered, pointing to Poppy, "Floo is how wizards and witches travel through fireplace with green fire. And green fire don't even hurt."

"Yes," I confirmed, surprised at his oddly, colorful translation. I stood back up, frowning as Poppy smiled shrewdly at me.

"Well, it's getting late." She walked us out of her office saying she would see us off.

"You will need to hold my hand so we can travel together, Harry." I extended my hand. He nervously looked at it indirectly, as if waiting for it to fly at him. I bent over slightly, so as to move my hand closer to his own. Seeing him up and standing now, I realized how daunting I must have seemed in that moment. Standing just over six foot, I doubted the top of his head could even reach my waist. His concern was quiet understandable, so I lowered my hand further.

Gradually, he lifted his free hand, the one not clutching onto his toy, and lightly placed it against my palm. His hand was so small in mine, shrunken in comparison. Gentle as possible, I closed my fingers over his.

In that moment, I was reminded how strong and fragile he seemed.

"I will do right by him," I whispered, looking at Poppy. However, this time the words were not to reassure her.

"I know," she murmured once again, "Now off with you two. You will _both_ be fine."

Steering both of us toward the fireplace, she made quick work of her send-off of Harry and I.

"I am only a Floo away, if you need anything," she reminded me, before bending over to pat Harry on the shoulder, "Be good for Severus, dear. I am sure we will see each other again soon."

And with a final goodbye we were Flooing back to Prince House.

—**SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—**

Harry stumbled out of the fireplace, his feet catching on the ledge of the hearth. Thankfully, he was still holding my hand and I easily caught him.

"Sorry, Sir," he whispered, pulling his hand back once he regained his footing.

"It's alright," I assured, not sure what else to say. In that moment all words abandoned me as we stood there. Minutes passed as I glanced around, complete lost. What now? He was here, but what now? I did not realize until that exact moment, how completely unprepared I was.

_Well, say something, you moron!_

"You do not have to call me 'sir'. Severus is fine," I blurted out, without thought. Harry looked just as uncertain as I felt, but nodded anyway. We continued to stand in the middle of the living room, Harry shifting from one foot to the other.

"Would you like a tour?"

_Git! It's a child, not a realtor!_

Surprisingly enough he nodded, quite earnestly.

_Perhaps he wants to see where he will be living._

"Living room," I said, as if it was not completely obvious, "Down this hall, the foyer and the dining room." I led the way through, walking unhurriedly so he may get a glimpse of everything. The house was not overly large, but it was certainly big enough for a child to get lost in. The ground floor alone had nearly a dozen rooms.

"I do not use the upstairs. Do _not _go there unless you are accompanied by me." I instructed, as we passed the staircase.

"Please," I added as an afterthought. His head bobbed up and down, solemnly taking in everything. We made it past my personal potion brewery room, and I repeated the same rule. Though I had placed a Blocked Barrier Charm _and_ a Locking Charm on the door itself, Harry needed to know where he was allowed to go and where not to go. Pretty soon, we circled back into the living room. We had just reached the kitchen, when Harry's listlessness seemed to disappear and he broke his silence.

"Is this where I'm gonna stay?" he asked, wide eyes taking in the space. He seemed focused on the cabinetry in particular.

"Of course not," I objected, perhaps a little too harshly.

_What child stayed in a kitchen?_

"Oh." His voice had softened to a whisper and I felt a sudden surge of anger, this time on behalf of my behavior.

"You have a bedroom here," I explained, talking softer in repercussion. I was determined not to lose my temper the first night the child was with me.

"_A room_?" His voice was not even a whisper, barely a murmur, "For _me_?"

Stunned, I suddenly realized how much I did not know about Harry's previous situation. It was obvious he had been abused and even more obvious he had been neglected, but –

It was one thing to hear about abuse and quite another to witness sheer shock at having a bedroom and not having to stay in a kitchen.

"Yes, Harry, you have a room," I reassured him, keeping my voice as level as possible, "of your very own." Again, he looked at me. Green eyes just peeking through wild, unkept tresses. His hands had yet again tightened around his doe. The most unnerving, overwhelming urge to tuck his hair back and ease his hold on his stuffed animal overcame my hands. Knowing it would make only me feel better rather than Harry, I kept my hands by my side.

"Why don't we go have a look?" I led him out of the kitchen and down the connecting hallway, settling for lightly placing a hand behind his back. Fully prepared for him to trip over the runner, he remained balanced and actually looked quite oddly at me when I braced my hand against him. Despite the look, he continued his previous silence.

"This is the washroom." I indicated the first room on the left, going as far as to open the door so he could see inside. Yesterday, Poppy had quietly pointed out his lack of familiarness with hygiene and suggested I address the matter sooner rather than later. "It shall be open at any time you please." He nodded yet again, after glancing at the clawfoot tub, various fixtures and faucets.

"That is my room," I pointed out the neighboring door, before steering him to the last room in the hallway. Strategically adjacent from my room as well as the washroom, I finally opened the door at the end of the hallway.

"And this is your room."

The room itself was actually a corner room and kept two large bay windows, one with a window seat that looked out to the garden and the other with a partial view of the cobbled, country road Prince House sat on. No longer a makeshift office for work files, the room now held cherry wood furniture complete with a full-sized bed, a nightstand, and a chest of drawers. A neutral cream duvet covered the mattress along with an additional quilt folded on the end. The other side of the room had a desk that would probably take some growing into framed by shelves that were built in the wall, just waiting to be filled. Knowing how cold the floors could get, I had also placed a thick braided rug in the center of the room. Granted that the quilt and rug matched his ridiculous, patchwork stuffed animal, it was a complete coincidence and _not_ done on purpose.

"For me?" Harry repeated.

"Yes, is it to your liking?" The room _had_ been thrown together last minute, perhaps it was not fitting. Perhaps he hated it. Perhaps he still did not understand the circumstances. Perhaps he did not want to live here. Perhaps-

"It's brilliant!" Little by little he stepped into the room, small hands loosening their hold on the abused toy. His eyes seemed to shine as he surveyed the room, looking but not touching a thing.

"Are you _sure_ this is where I am s'posed to stay?" He was still whispering, but unlike before it was now in awe. Relief flooded so quick at his words, my knees nearly buckled.

"Yes," I cleared my throat, willing myself to calm down, "this is_ your_ room."

"_Thank you_." He looked me straight on, looking up at me as he thanked me. His eyes seemed to gleam, just like Lily's used to when she was excited or happy or-

"You're welcome. Now, let's get you settled in," I quickly cut off any such thoughts of Lily.

"Yessur," he said, looking up at me again with such encouraged eyes. And again, my hands had the oddest urge to move his unruly hair out of his eyes.

_Lily's eyes._

_Lily's child._

That same inner-voice returned unexpectedly.

_Your child now._

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A/N: Like it? Hate it? Let me know, guys!


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I am a brunette, broke and not British.

Warning: Abusive!Dursley, AU/non-canon, Dumbledore!Bashing, Dursley!Bashing, Father!Snape, Kid!Fic

A/N: I apologize if anyone received messages about the updated chapters. I finally got around to re-reading my published work and saw some GLARING mistakes. They are fixed and – loathe as I am to admit it – I am now in the market for a Beta. Merlin, help us all. And…sorry for the super late update, but summer classes are kicking my you-know-what. They're almost over though – YAY! – and the updates should be much, much faster. Anyway, enjoy chapter five!

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Chapter 5

"Unpack your things," Severus Sir moved the carrier bag, the one he had earlier, so it was by the dresser, "I will go start supper. Come to the kitchen when you are finished, alright?" Nodding, I hurried to do what he told me to do. He was being nice, and I did _not_ want to make him mad.

"I will be just down the hall. Don't dawdle." With that, Severus Sir left the room.

_My room, that's what he called it._

My hands shook as I sat down and opened the lowest drawer.

_My things_. _He had said that, too._

"You are supposed to unpack them, not doodle, stupid," I scolded, pulling on the edge of the bag until it toppled over. Boxes and cartons fell out filled with clothes and shoes and soap and _everything_, all wrapped and new. Like they were bought in a store, not hand-me-downs or pinched from the donation bin.

I started with the shirts. I _knew_ how to fold them right. They were supposed to be upside down, after that shoulder to shoulder, then double creased down the middle. A square, so they would fit right. Aunt Petunia always made sure I did them right.

Always had to be just right, or it was wrong.

_That's what she said_, I remembered, my tummy suddenly felt like it was being squashed again, _it has to be perfect or it's…_

—**HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS—**

"_Wrong!" _

_She screamed in my face, yanking me up from the floor, the floor she had told me to clean. I had spent all morning scrubbing away Dudley's poxy paints from the kitchen floorboards, scrubbing until my hand sores broke and turned the rag red. And now she was mad._

"_Must you ruin everything?" She exhaled noisily, as if she had been the one working. I tried to hide my hands behind my back and mumble an apology. But it didn't sound so good, because I could feel tears burning my eyes and a lump had settled in my throat, like I had swallowed a great old sock. _

_This made Aunt Petunia even madder, and she wrenched me to the laundry room. I barely caught myself as she carelessly let me fall against the washer. _

"_Wash your hands then finish bringing in the laundry. And for heaven's sake, try not to ruin anything else!" she hissed, before slamming the door in my face. _

_Overturning the now-empty laundry bin, I climbed on top so I could reach the sink. I was half –tempted to use the good soap that she had left out. It was in a bottle with a pump, and I knew it smelled nice. Like flowers. _

"_Stupid," I mumbled to myself, as I wiped away at my itchy eyes and reached for the mushy bar of lye soap. It smelled awful and it felt even worse. It stung and I couldn't stand it long before I had to run my hands under the tap. Grabbing a cloth from the dust rag bin, I easily tore it into strips. It did not take long to wrap up my hands, and there was hardly any more blood now. _

_Staring at the shut door, I was suddenly relieved to be left alone._

_I had been good this morning, gotten breakfast all ready before Uncle Vernon and Dudley even came downstairs, and Aunt Petunia let me have a whole piece of toast. It fell on the floor when she was tossing the scraps into the bin. And even though she pretended to drop it, like it was an accident, I knew it wasn't. Reaching into my pocket, I used the tip of my fingers to pull out the bread. It was slightly crumpled from being in my pocket while I finished my morning chores, but still good. One of the corners even had a smudge of jam on it. _

_Strawberry, my nose told me._

_The first bite and nothing had ever tasted as good as crumpled toast. The second bite was harder to chew, my mouth still filled with the first bite, but just as yummy. I swallowed hard, the food a stodgy lump, before cramming in the last bit. Another swallow and I wiped my mouth against the back of my arm._

_Sighing, I went to work now that I had something in my tummy. _

_I had gotten through the first two batches, before my hands really did begin to hurt again and I could not carry the basket no more. I dropped the basket, the basket filled with perfectly folded shirts right on the steps up the laundry room. _

_They fell and crumpled, no longer in perfect squares._

_No longer just right._

_Aunt Petunia saw and ran to the door. She yelled for me to pick up the mess and bring it inside for heavy's sake. And I tried to do it again. Fold it again when I was inside – upside down, shoulder to shoulder, and crease down the middle. A square. Perfect square._

_But it was too late. _

"_Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!" She threw all of the clothes, all the piles I had folded and put onto the table and sorted and all the dirty ones that I had dropped in the dirt, and threw them on the floor. The shirts and sheets and trousers and everything that had to be folded just right, now sat on the floor in just another mess. _

—**HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS—**

_It was not wrong. It was an accident. _

"I didn't mean to," I whispered, clutching my tummy.

"Harry," a voice shouted out, "are you almost finished?" Shaking my head, I looked back down at the carrier bag, and somehow all the clothes were folded! Somehow, everything was tucked and in place and sat in lots on the floor.

Shirts.

Trousers.

Pants and socks.

They were all folded perfectly, sorted and everything, but I did not do any of it!

"Harry," he called, coming closer.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_

Faster than I ever worked, I put away the clothes like Severus Sir had _told _me to do. Placing each stack in order, I made sure it was all perfect.

"Harry," Severus Sir swooped into the doorway, just as I had set the last heap into the drawer. They were all in line, no corners sticking out, not even wrinkled. They were just right.

"Are you alright?"He asked, not even looking at the clothes. Nodding, I pointed to the drawer. He had a funny look on his face. Like the way that Madam Lady looked at me when she made me take the nasty medicine. But then he stopped and started talking again.

"Come, you must be hungry." And again, he took a hold of my shoulder. But he was not being mean. He did not push or shove or cuff me, even though he easily could have. Not at all like Aunt Petunia.

_Food._

As we stepped in to the hallway, my nose was filled with the most delicious smells.

_Onion. _

_Bacon._

_Apple. _

Before I realized it, we were in the kitchen and I was sitting in a chair at the table. There was even a plate and a glass and silverware and even a napkin in front of me!

"I assume pork stew is acceptable?" Severus Sir asked, setting down a bowl that was almost spilling over. It looked so good, but it smelled even better. Chunks of potato and apple with cubes of pork sat in chicken stock, and I could make out broken pieces of walnuts, roasted and everything. And it was still warm. I could _feel_ the heat, and even see the steam coming off the stew.

"Well, eat up."

_He was letting me have all of this food? _Not about to argue with Severus Sir, I picked up a spoon, _just for folding some clothes?_

Again, I wondered why he was being so nice to me.

—**HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS—**

"Do you need help with the ties?" I asked, referring to his gown and the binds on the back. He shook his head. Sitting on the bathroom floor, with my sleeves folded up my forearms, I set to cleaning up the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-Begrimed.

_Whether it be a crup or a kneazle, you wash it before you let it in your home_, I thought of the old saying as I inspected Harry, _Merlin, mandrake seedlings had less dirt on top of them._

"Well, make haste," I urged, turning back to the tub. Dipping my hand into the running water, I adjusted the tap until the temperature was warmer. Endeavoring to make him as comfortable as possible, I summoned the nearby bottle of Bizorren's and poured in a generous measure. _Perhaps he's just a bit self-conscience_, I considered.

However, when I turned back around he was still standing in the doorway, hands bunched behind him and staring at the floor. _Merlin, what now?_ I thought mentally sighing. Tamping down on my impatience, I resorted to reason.

"Don't you _want_ to get into the bath, Harry?" I tried. Biting his lip, he glanced up, looking between me and the tub before quickly shaking his head side to side.

"Why not?" I gritted my teeth, annoyed I was hearing only my voice.

"Don't like 'em," he mumbled, continuing to look down at his feet.

"Baths?"

"Bath_tubs_." He stressed, keeping his head tucked. Feeling like a fool, I crouched down until I was at his level. It was time to dispense such notions. "They hurt."

"Whydo you think bathtubs hurt?" He seemed surprised at my question, but seemed to think about it.

"'Cause you can fall in them," he defended softly, "and they're big."

"Big?"

"_Big_." He repeated, raising his hand over his head.

"Tall," I corrected, understanding what he meant, "It's too tall?" Glancing at the tub, it would seem daunting to a child, a half-starved, undersized one at that.

Scanning the room, an empty soap dish landed in my sights. Flipping it over, I placed it on the floor and pulled out my wand. Harry watched in tacit wonder, as within moments the dish transfigured into a stepping stool. Swallowing a bemused smile at his marveling, I positioned the steps against the edge.

"Alright then?"

His fears snuffed, he still managed to seem anxious.

"What if it still hurts?" he whispered.

"Bathtubs should not hurt, and I guarantee this one will not," I kept my voice calm but stern, leaving no room for another argument. Reaching a hand behind him, I unfastened the ties and helped him take off his slippers. With a tug the garment slipped down and I had to stave off the curse that impulsively slipped forward.

Taking a deep breath, I had to steel myself as the extent of his relative's treatment was exposed once again. There was not an inch of unbruised skin upon the child's torso or back. I could count every rib, _despite_ the lingering swelling that accompanied his magically mended bones. The bruises and cuts and scars almost seemed painted on his body, all in various colors and distinct shapes. _Different stages of healing_, I realized, recognizing the outline of boots, lashes, buckles, and undoubtedly fists among the layers. Taking another breath, I promptly regained my composure. It would do neither of us any good for me to get carried away.

His earlier imitation of obstinacy was suddenly apparent as well.

_What if it still hurts?_

He meant what if_ I_ hurt. He wanted to know if I would hurt him. With a bathtub of all things!

"Nothing here will hurt, Harry. Now, in you go." I steered him up the steps and over the edge, giving him a hand in so he would not fall. His anxiety over the bathtub vanished the moment he touched the water. He seemed to melt into the bath, the suds just reaching his shoulders as he descended into the water.

Dirt and grime seemed to diffuse as Harry stirred up the bubbles, instantly turning the bath water murky. A wandless _Tergeo_ and the filth disappeared from the water. The Bizorren's suddenly seemed an inspired idea, as Harry began nudging the suds, and they transformed from foam into blocks. Head tilted, he began picking them up one by one, each one singing or humming as he handled them.

"Wash up, Harry," I directed, placing a lathered up sponge in his hands. Armed with a washcloth of my own, I brought out all the toiletry bottles and set to work. Little by little, Harry was scrubbed from tip to toe.

Before long he was yawning and I could tell he was about to drift off.

"We're almost done," I contended, "Try to stay awake, Harry." Tipping his head back, I finished rinsing the lathered up shampoo out of his hair. He rubbed at his eyelids and muttered something about "not getting suds in his eyes". Anxious and feeling just as tired as Harry looked, I settled for a Water-Making Spell to finish washing out the lather.

"Alright, come on out." I practically lifted him out of the tub, he was moving so sluggishly. Wrapping a charmed-warm towel around him, I took advantage of his drowsy state.

"_Accio_." The silver tin of Star Grass Salve flew from the top of the bathroom cabinet and into my hands. Placing an additional Warming Charm over the liniment, lightly as possible I began to spread the balm over his damaged skin. He cringed at the contact, but did not make any effort to distance himself.

"It's only medicine. It will help you. Try to relax," I urged, as I sat him down on the stepping stool. He did _not _relax. He seemed to do just the opposite. He stilled as if petrified, completely motionless.

"Alright, alright, that's the last of it." Grabbing another towel, I set to drying his thick mess of hair. He slowly relaxed as I sat behind him and began disentangling his mop. It took only a few minutes before his hair was tamable. The amount of cowlicks I had combed through was beyond belief. Actually, the amount of conditioner it had taken was unbelievable. _The only person I know who requires this much hair product is myself_, I thought with a snort, as I set the comb down on the counter.

"Do you require assistance getting dressed?" I asked, now that he was dried off. He blinked owlishly up at me, before shaking his head. I handed him the pile of garments I had grabbed earlier, a flannel long sleeve pajama set from one of the bundles and a pair of cotton briefs.

He dressed while I wiped the floors and hung up the towels. By the time I had put away the various toiletries, he was buttoning the last button. I quickly ushered Harry to bed, before he fell asleep right then and there on the bathroom floor.

"Goodnight," I said pulling his quilt up, although I was sure he fallen asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Shaking my head, I shut the door as I set off to go prepare myself for bed.

—**HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS— **

It was time to get up. I could see light streaming through the curtains. Groaning, I turned onto my other side. Why was I so sore? My knees felt like cauldrons had been dropped on them, and my back-

_Harry!_

A quick glance at the grandfather clock that stood in the corner and I knew I had overslept. It was nearly nine o'clock! Flinging back the covers, I ran to Harry's room, praying he was still asleep. His door was open and as I looked in I did not see him. Spinning around, I looked into the bathroom, but he was not there either.

Down the hall I suddenly heard something. Dashing toward the sound, the sight before me yanked the breath right out of my lungs.

"What in Merlin…?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

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A/N: Hope the wait was worth it…Still interested?


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